Bonus edition: The 34 best conception, pregnancy, and postpartum items on the market (IMO)

34 items that helped me get through the hardest parts of getting pregnant and becoming a mom.

Apr 25, 2024

Hey, it’s 📣 Coach Erika! Welcome to a ✨ bonus edition✨ of The Career Whispers.

Eep! I’m returning to work this month, after parental leave for the birth of my first child. The nerves are real. 😬

In honor of my return to the working world, this bonus post is a resource guide and a love letter to soon-to-be parents. This post features all of the conception, pregnancy, and post-partum products that, looking back, I couldn’t do without.

Not a parent or parent-to-be? No worries, this post doesn’t replace your regularly scheduled weekly tech career advice!

ps: If you’ve found your way over by some miracle but are not yet subscribed, here, let me help you with that:

Let’s dive in!

I recently became a parent, and as any first-time parent can attest: it’s a lot 😳

New (tiny, helpless, and in my case—colicky, 24/7 screaming 😱) person
New lingo (pre-eclampsia, meconium, toco numbers, combo feeding)
New ways to use your body (conception, carrying, delivery, feeding)

…and new products to (hopefully) make everything a tad bit easier.

As much as my new baby brought me joy, it was also overwhelming to learn so many new skills, all at once, with the urgency of a screaming baby. And doing it all without sleep. Or food. Or showers. (no judgment)

Adding to my overwhelm was that I prefer to buy something once and be done. I don’t love shopping, and the idea of buying a bunch of stuff, trying it out, and sending back or giving away stuff I don’t like is just so wasteful on so many levels.

I generally prefer to buy items from friends’ personal attestations and from lists I can trust. When it came to items to buy for my baby, I found

Emily Oster

‘s post with the best and worst baby items quite helpful.

But what about me? There’s nothing in that list (or any list I could find) to help ME with conception, pregnancy, or postpartum.

Today’s post offers the list I wish I had a year ago as I started my parenting journey. It’s designed as an essentials-only, greatest hits list of items that I found helpful on my journey into parenthood. I include items from these six phases:

Pre-conception
Conception
Pregnancy (up to week 35ish)
Pre-partum and Delivery (the last 4 weeks before birth, plus the main event)
Postpartum (until where I am today: 5 months pp)
Newborn: a couple of super handy and “lifesaver” baby items I didn’t see on other lists but couldn’t imagine life without.

Let’s dive in ↓

Pre-conception

In this phase: Priming your mind to become a parent, plus giving extra nutrients for your eggs and sperm.

Vitamins

Given my “advanced maternal age,” friends told me to read the book It Starts With the Egg by Rebecca Fett. I did not read it 🙄. Instead, I skimmed Reddit and peer-reviewed papers to decide which prenatal vitamins to take (and when to start).

Emily Oster has a great post about why most vitamins are basically useless, except folic acid and iron for pregnant women and vitamin D for breastfed babies. My research led me to a similar conclusion, but my husband loves his vitamins (he claims to ti feel superhuman most days since starting this ritual).

The true benefit of pre-conception vitamins: giving us a sense of control over a process that is nowhere near as easy as we were told in middle school 🤭

For me and my husband, peace of mind was worth the cost (and the daily chore).

Item #1: Mom vitamins

I hate taking pills, so I knew I needed something easy. I started taking prenatals 4+ months before trying to conceive because egg cycles are four months long. I’m still taking them now, 5 months post-partum, even though I don’t need to. I just like the way they taste 🤤

What I take: Vita Fusion Prenatals (gummies, raspberry lemonade flavor)

Item #2: Dad vitamins

Husband started taking his vitamins 2+ months before trying to conceive because sperm cycles are ~two months long. He claims immediate, visceral health benefits—and while he’s not lifting cars to save kittens, I can attest that he has enjoyed taking all of these for the last year+.

Multivitamin containing 20mg Zinc, Folic Acid (positively associated with fertility in men), Vitamin C 120-500mg
CoQ10 (ubiquinol form, 100-300mg daily)
Vitamin C gummies 120-500mg (daily recommendation from NIH)
Vitamin E 100 IU/day
Vitamin A 5000 IU/day

Conception

Item #3: Flo Cycle Tracking ($40ish/year)

Learn 👏 your 👏 cycle, ladies! I love this app so much that I’m always happy to pay for the Premium version and renew it every year, even when I’m not using the app daily (like right now). They have great conception content and tracking tools and even better pregnancy content. If you’re TTC (trying to conceive), get this app or one like it.

Item #4: Ovulation Test Strips (Easy@Home) ($20)

Even if you think you know your cycle. Even if you’re sure you know exactly when you ovulate. Yes, sperm can live for 5 days in the reproductive tract, but the reality is that the conception numbers are slim if you don’t make things happen on the right day. Knowing the right day instantly doubles your chance of getting pregnant.

Use the strips! It’s easy.

Data below if you need more convincing about why day-level precision matters.

Source: Emily Oster via https://www.shortform.com/blog/chances-of-getting-pregnant-before-ovulation-day/

Item #5: Fancy candle (Diptyque $120) and a *certain kind of* Spotify playlist

❤️🎵🕯️🔥

*BONUS* One thing we didn’t find very useful for Conception:

kindbody. Most doctors recommend trying for at least 6 months before getting fertility testing, and as we got closer to that timeline, we wanted to start some non-invasive testing. kindbody is a well-funded health startup that advertises helping women and men with fertility services. We had the worst experience at every step of the journey: getting appointments, billing, test results, appointment follow-ups, and generally having the sense that anyone was running the company to ensure we were getting the services we were paying for. Luckily, we got pregnant on our own during the shuffle. I hope there are better services out there, please comment if you know of one so I can recommend it to readers.

Pregnancy

From day 0 til week 35ish

Item #6: Cheap pregnancy tests (Easy@Home) ($20)

If you’re a double-checker like me, you’ll want to test if you’re pregnant 2-3 times a day, for multiple days, to convince yourself that omg, yes, it finally happened. Go with a bulk option to avoid buying 15 boxes of individual tests at $20 each. I used the tests that came with the ovulation strips test kit, and they worked great. The $20 box comes with 20 pregnancy tests in case your OCD is full flare like mine was.

Item #7: Smallshow Ruched Dresses (Short $20; Long $35) and Layerable Loose Jumpsuits ($30)

These dresses and jumpsuits were a dream: affordable, soft, flattering, and available in many colors and patterns. I hate clothing shopping, and I love that I only had to buy one item to confirm the fit and then I could buy five in different patterns. Arrived in two days. What more could you ask for?

I wore one of the blue floral full-length dresses to a wedding and my baby shower, and it was gorgeous.

The leopard print jumpsuit is surprisingly chic (and softer than the single-color versions 🤷🏻‍♀️).

Item #8: Tall maternity underwear ($35)

Love love love these. At first, they were huge, then I humbly “grew into them.” Coverage plus comfort 👍

Item #9: Omron BP Cuff ($42)

I got very swollen for the last 10+ weeks of pregnancy, so taking my BP every day kept fears of pre-eclampsia at bay. Plus, I got it reimbursed using my FSA.

Item #10: Kizik Sneakers (~$120-$150)

My feet grew a half size in the third trimester since I was so.so.so.swollen 🐡. Reddit told me that people who stand all day (ie nurses) love these shoes, and with ~50+ extra pregnancy pounds, I was grateful for the joint relief. These offered extra cushion and support, plus no need to bend over my big belly to tie laces. 10 months later, I still love these shoes (I got the Athens, but I’ve been eyeing the Londons, too). They have become a daily driver. Word to the wise: don’t get the white ones (they won’t stay white long).

Item #11: Tums Chewy Bites ($9)

Medicinal perfection! I had so much acid reflux and indigestion. Tums Chewy Bites became a 7th food group for me. Don’t suffer with the chalky stuff! Get these instead. Husband pops them for fun because they taste like candy.

Item #12: Anti-stretch mark remedies: Hatch belly oil ($64) and Palmer’s massage cream ($14)

I used both oil and lotion because I was freaked out about getting stretch marks. Turns out I did anyway; it’s really all genetics. But it still made me feel good to know I did my best. Plus, the Hatch belly oil smells incredible and made me feel less frumpy.

Item #13: Smokeless moxibustion sticks ($20)

Baby was breech for a while, and I tried acupuncture and all the spinning babies exercises, but he stayed put. The acupuncturist recommended moxibustion, so my husband and I gave it a try (it’s a two-person sport). While we’re pretty sure the baby just flipped on his own (most babies do), we really enjoyed the forced togetherness time and meditative energy that moxibustion requires. Those moments were some of our favorites.

*BONUS* 4 things I didn’t find very useful during Pregnancy:

prenatal massage. Honestly I was just so busy I didn’t make time.
belly bands. Meh. I didn’t feel a huge lift, the velcro caught on everything, and the band made me hot and sweaty.
belly sleeves/jean extenders (to extend the usable time for wearing your pre-pregnancy jeans). Slipped and slid and generally felt annoying.
ginger chews, lemonheads, vitamin B6. Nothing calmed my nausea. It was outrageously bad, and eventually I had to take prescription medication to make it through the day. My advice: if you’re not functioning well (or vomiting more than 3x/day), tell your doctor. There are meds that will squelch the nausea⎯though be warned, they will make you extremely drowsy, as in you can’t operate a car or use an iron without potential danger to yourself or others.

Pre-partum & Delivery

The 3-4 weeks leading up to birth.

Item #14: Chiropractor visit ($85)

I had a lot of pinching pain in my sacrum throughout my pregnancy, plus my baby was late so I read about using the Webster Technique to go into labor. One visit and I had immediate, massive relief in my sacrum pain (though I did not go into labor, sadly).

Item #15: Compression socks ($18)

I was so swollen. So, so swollen. Like a jumbo pufferfish. Compression socks were a lifesaver for my poor, swollen feet and legs. And this brand is great (and they come in cool patterns). Don’t be boring like me and go with white.

Item #16: (if breastfeeding) Correctly sized flanges for pumps ($15 each)

This was a tip from a friend who had a difficult breastfeeding journey when she used the standard flanges that come with the pump. They are not one-size, and it makes a massive difference to get the correctly sized flanges.

How to buy the right size flange:

Buy a circle ruler
Find the hole where your nipple slips in just right: not tight, not loose.
Add 2mm.
Buy the flange that matches that measurement.
Donate the other ones so you never accidentally use them (!)

*PLUS* 2 things I didn’t find very useful during Pre-partum and Delivery:

acupuncture. I love alternative and Eastern medicine, but acupuncture doesn’t seem to work for me. I tried to use it for de-puffing and turning the breech baby, to no avail.
cute laboring gowns. I bought three really cute hospital gowns (the picture in my head of birthing was vastly different from reality). Within 15 minutes of arriving at the hospital in active labor, I had projectile vomited all over everything, multiple times. Just trust me and stick with the hospital ones. Birthing involves a lot of liquids that you don’t want to have to take home and launder 🧼

Postpartum

Item #17: Disposable Adult Underwear ($13-$30)

Can’t tell you how amazing and comfortable these are. So wonderful. Just do it. Haters gonna hate, but you’ll have the last laugh (hopefully, without peeing yourself). I went with the classic older adult brands, but you can get these boy short versions from Frida mom if you want to be more stylish. They look like cute volleyball shorts.

Item #18: BabyGo birthing ball ($30)

I bought this ball for laboring, but it was equally useful postpartum to help soothe my colic baby to sleep. Between hubby and me, we’ve put tens of thousands of bounces on this thing with no signs of wear or distress. This particular exercise ball is from the UK and comes with a super nice book of prepartum and postpartum exercises that I also found helpful.

Item #19: Stroller Fan ($17)

Bought it for the baby, kept it for mama. Post-partum night sweats are real! We room-in (this is parent code for “he sleeps right next to me in the room”), so we keep the bedroom much warmer than I would prefer, even before you add in the postpartum hormone cliff. This stroller fan with adjustable legs and convenient USB charging is a staple on my nightstand: I point it at myself to keep cool all night while my baby is warm and cozy in the bassinet beside me.

Item #20: USB Nightstand Plug Station ($16)

Nightlight. White noise machine. Breast pump. Cell phone. Stroller fan. Baby monitor camera. Snoo bassinet. Turns out, there’s a lot that needs to be plugged in. This USB hub is simple, hearty, and non-offensive (design-wise). I think it’s the best one on the market.

Item #21: Ameda ComfortGel HydroGel Soothing Nursing Pads ($30 for 4)

If nipples went to heaven, this is what it would feel like. I tried everything else. Nipple butter, nipple cream, lanolin oil, lanolin stick, lanolin cream, silverettes. This was the only thing that soothed.

Item #22: Bamboobies Washable and Reusable Absorbent Breastfeeding Pads ($7)

A lifesaver on the one night my colic baby slept more than 4 hours and my breasts were exploding, then leaking while I was TKO. I woke up 100% dry, no mess in the bed, with fully saturated pads. What more can you ask for?

Item #23: Therapy (~$150/session) and Fair Play by Eve Rodsky (book $18, deck $18)

I had a therapist before delivery that I was working with on some non-motherhood work. Then the baby came, and so did a whole lot of new challenges, resurfaced issues, and things I didn’t even know were lurking in my subconscious. Therapy was instrumental to survival, and I never even had PPD.

Some advice if you don’t already have a therapist beforehand (because finding one is tough):

(1) check if your company offers Lyra or another mental health provider for free or discounted or even just to get a provider quickly at full cost and

(2) ask other parents you know for references to their therapists. Also, I just need to say that I have struggled with the cost of therapy for a long time, and if you can’t afford $125-$150/hr, I urge you to ask your OB/GYN or pediatrician (since they will be testing you for PPD every time you come in) if they know of any community resources. Social workers are more affordable (generally) and may be available to you from community programs.

Also: consider couple’s therapy. I haven’t done it yet, so I won’t opine on how great it is because that would be hypocritical. But I will say that there is no way to create any semblance of spousal equality in childbirth. The work will always be more on the birthing parent, end of subject.

Any non-birthing spouse who can look at a sleep-deprived mom who hasn’t eaten in 15 hours sitting in the back of a compact SUV breastfeeding a bright red, screaming 3 month old on one boob while juggling a flange and detangling baby’s arms from the tubes while pumping on the other boob and say, “I’m sure I’m doing an equal amount of work” is DELUSIONAL.

People will emotionally handle the unfairness better or worse than others. Therapy can help. So can this book: Fair Play by Eve Rodsky (book $18, deck $18). Fair Play changed our lives and finally helped me and my husband share all the old and new work in our household more evenly. Props to

Lindsey Stanberry

for bringing that book into my life 🙏

👆 Even writing that all out felt therapeutic. Amazing.

*PLUS* 6 things I did not find useful in the Postpartum phase:

Breastfeeding clothing. It just made me feel more frumpy than I already felt. I preferred to wear my normal clothes (the oversized stuff).
Silverette nipple covers. The edges pinched my breasts. I have a strong preference for hydrogels (see above Ameda product, they are fabulous).
Frida Mom acute postpartum care items: ice pads, peri bottle, sitz bath, sitz salts, perineal products, witch hazel foam. I fear-purchased all of these before birth, but the hospital gave me everything I needed.
Frida breast care items. I went overboard buying lots of stuff, fearing mastitis issues. I used none of it.
Postpartum shapewear / girdle. I read that many women feel their organs are floating around immediately post-partum and feel more comfortable with a girdle, but wearing a girdle exacerbated my acid reflux and made sleepless nights even more sleepless. Skip it if you have acid reflux.
My Brest Friend Super Deluxe Nursing Pillow. It was giving too much “I got stuck in a pool floatie” vibes. I kept getting stuck in doorways, and it didn’t markedly improve my breastfeeding skills. Once I figured out how to do reclined nursing (Day 6 postpartum), I never used this pillow again. I think it may be more helpful with twins or preemies.

Newborn

Item #24: Changing room caddy ($13)

I have one of these felt caddies in every room of my house. I stuff it with the following:

Diapers (I’ve used Kirkland brand and Kudos and love them both)
Wipes (Kirkland brand or Water Wipes)
Aquaphor Baby or Vaseline BlueSeal Baby (apply to bum crack and crevices every change, never had diaper rash again. Don’t forget the underside of the pee-pee).
Dove hand sanitizer. Poo gets everywhere. Pumping a squirt of hand sanitizer without leaving the room gives me peace of mind that I’m not giving my baby ebola. This particular one by Dove smells divine.

Item #25: Frida Windi Gas and Colic Reliever ($12)

Our baby had issues passing gas and stool, and he would scream in pain. The Windi saved the day (and night!) on at least 20 occasions. Net promoter score through the roof on this one. Buy them in advance so you have them if you need them.

Item #26: OXO bottle brush ($9)

The Cadillac of bottle brushes. So soft, so flexible, so vertical. Easy to use, easy to clean. It’s even more magic than the standard magic we’ve all come to expect from OXO. We also adore our OXO drying rack (we bought them together here).

Item #27: Munchkin sterilizer bags ($9)

3oz water, 2 minutes in the microwave, 20 reuses, and peace of mind. No need to buy an expensive freestanding sterilizer appliance to take up more counter space. Just get the bags. You can use each one 30 times.

Item #28: Hatch sound machine + light ($60)

We bought two $20 Dreameggs, and both died within 5 months. We have a Hatch, and it works like a charm. Worth the spend, and it’s nice to have one device to do light and white noise.

Item #29: Doona stroller + car seat combo ($550)

This is the spendiest thing I’ll put on the list, but it’s been a game-changer for us. Having a stroller that turns into a car seat is magic. It makes it a breeze to go to all the doctor appointments and to lug your baby with you everywhere (since we all do, unless you hire an infant babysitter which will cost you half of a Doona real quick). It comes with all the bits and bobs you need for the baby from 4lb to 35lb, which is a nice long utilization period (longer than pretty much everything else for newborns).

Item #30: Frida baby water pourer for the bath ($10)

I looooove this water pourer for bathtime. It seems weird to be obsessed with a glorified cup, but it beats the heck out of the one that came with our baby tub. Bonus: we used it while I was in labor in the bathtub at home.

Item #31: Baby Bjorn Bouncer and Play Bar ($210 and $60)

Our kid hated it at first, but he loves it now. He’s even figured out how to self-propel the bouncer using this clever kicking mechanism that melts my heart. And it's a safe place to stash baby while you run to the bathroom or get a bite to eat. We also bought this backup play bar ($23) to keep things interesting for him.

Item #32: Lovevery play gym ($140)

We live in 950 square feet with a baby and two pets, so space is at a premium, and our baby only has a few curated toys. The Lovevery play gym has far exceeded our expectations. Baby plays in it for at least an hour daily, and he loves all the little stations. I think it’s a bit of highway robbery that they don’t include the play strands with the play gym, but if you’re into high-quality basic toys that aren’t made of plastic, this is the set for you.

+ lovevery sensory strands ($25). He uses them every day. The lovevery play gym is basically his only toy, so we decked it out.

+ A lovevery play kit subscription ($80 every 2 months). The toys are wonderfully curated and arrive just when the kid needs them for each milestone. We didn't get it, but we regret it. It’s also something that people will be so happy to buy on your registry because it’s beautiful and who doesn’t love wooden baby toys?

Item #33: Full sleeve barber-style wipe-down bib shirt ($16 each for patterned, cheaper for solid colors)

Solids are messy. Like, seriously messy. Many a onesie has been sacrificed to orange stains from carrots and winter squash. The silicone bibs with the pocket do a great job of catching the stuff that goes straight down, but the only thing that could keep our baby’s arms and neck free of runny or caked-in sweet potato mush was this bib shirt. It’s super easy to clean (wipe it down). As a bonus, they have a bunch of new patterns that are even cuter than before. I can attest that the shark one is cute. That pink leopard print is calling out to me.

Item #34: Babylist Boxes (price varies by box, but always cheaper than buying the items on your own)

Babylist makes fabulous sampler boxes (Bottles, Diapers, Pacifiers, Swaddles, Teethers, Sippy Cups, and hopefully more in the future). They are a way to try 3-5 alternatives and determine which one your baby likes before buying more. We found the box for pacifiers especially useful. I didn’t get the swaddle box or teether box because we used a Snoo bassinet which comes with its own swaddles, and we got a dozen teethers as gifts (baby loves them all). We recently got the sippy cup box, testing is in progress 😁

*PLUS* 4 things I did not find very useful in the Newborn phase:

Baby clothes. I have a mother and MIL who are shopaholics, so I regret purchasing any of my own baby clothes. Plus, my child was a giant, born in the 99th percentile for height and weight, so he never wore any of the cute newborn clothing I got for him.
All the different diaper rash creams. We tried them all. Aquaphor is the best. Don’t bother with anything else unless it gets really bad and you need a more potent active ingredient.
Pee-Pee Teepees (for boys). These are way too small and just don’t work at all unless your kid has a tiny weewee that outputs < 5mL of urine at a time. I’m baffled at how often this product was recommended, given that it literally never worked for us, not once.
Butt spatulas. Other people swore by this, but I'm not squeamish about poop or touching creams with my hands, so the spatula ended up just being one more thing to wash.

Closing thoughts

Becoming a parent has been a mix of highs and lows, with my baby’s goofy, gummy smile being the highest of highs. The items in this post helped the highs stay high and made the lows less low. I hope they will do the same for you.

Feel free to share this post with someone you know who is just starting their parenting journey, trying to conceive (TTC), or pregnant and wondering, “ok, what do I need?”

🎉 That’s a wrap!

Note: I may earn a small commission if you purchase using the links in this post. I personally purchased and used all the products here, and no brand hired me to rep for them. My opinions are not for sale.

Fellow new moms and dads: What did I miss? Share your must-have pre-conception, conception, pregnancy, and postpartum items in the comments.